Life is short and GOD IS SWEET, Heartfelt ramblings of a mid-life domestic goddess......

Lesson #3 my daughter taught me.

2011-09-13T22:42:00.000-07:00

Lesson 3 of things my daughter taught me, "LISTEN WITH YOUR HEART"

When My daughter was about 9 she was getting ready for school one morning. I was reading in the living room and she yelled out to me, "mom is there a book in the bible called Ephesians", I told her there was and she said "what dose Ephesians 12:6 mean?" I said, "What, are you sure you have that right?" (I was very new in my walk and was not to familiar with the bible but, I didn't think Ephesians had that many chapters) It was silent for a moment and than she said, "wait, I think I mean Ephesians 6, look it mom"

I grabbed my bible and look up chapter 6 and I told her I was there and I asked her where I should look. She said, "I thought 12 but now I think it is 10-12, can you read it?" I was not sure what was going on and why she was yelling down the hall for me to all of a sudden look up a scripture. I began to read, Ephesians 6 starting at verse 10, Finally, be strong in the lord and in his mighty power. Put on the full armor of God so that you can take your stand against the devil's schemes. For our struggle is not against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the powers of the dark world and against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly realms.

My daughter said thanks and I said, "should I read on" and she yells back "yes keep reading". I went on to read, Therefore put on the full armor of God, so that when the day of evil comes, you may be able to stand your ground and after you have done everything to stand. Stand firm than with the belt of truth buckled around your waist, with the breastplate of righteousness in place, and with your feet fitted with the readiness that comes from the gospel of peace. In addition to all this, take up the shield of faith, which you can extinguish all the flaming arrows of the evil one. Take the helmet of salvation and the sword of the spirit which is the word of God. I asked if I should keep reading and she said, "no" it made sense to her now. Curious as to where this had come from I went into her room to find out where she got this scripture from.

To my surprise she told me that she was standing in her closet trying to choose what to wear and she couldn't make up her mind. In a very matter of fact voice she told me that God told her that scripture so she would know what to always wear. My mouth about hit the ground. Now it wasn't like God had said in a audible voice "Hanna the Lord saith put on the full armor of God", I was a new believer and I had heard people say that God had told them things in their hearts or spirits, I just hadn't experienced in such a wonderful way as my daughter just did.

She was so a matter of fact about it like it was something that happened all the time. As I look back on it I see that she never put God in a box, she knew who he was and she was open to all of him, there was no limits to the extend of her belief in what he could do. I was so happy to see her hearing from God and I knew God was using her to teach me that I to could hear from him in my heart if I just chose to really listen.

That day she taught me to always listen with my heart so that I wouldn't miss a special moment to hear from God. She taught me that he can teach us so much if we are willing to listen. My daughter bounced out the door that day excited to know what God wanted her to wear and I sat down after she left and thanked God for speaking to her and I asked God to show himself to me in that way. I prayed that I would have a open heart to hear him. As the years have gone by and my walk with him has grown I have learned that he really does speak to our hearts because he loves us so much.

She is one wise young lady and I am lucky to call her my daughter. I look forward to the many lessons I know God will show me through her in the years to come.

Remember to always listen with your heart because God wants to

show you some very special also.

Things my DAUGHTER taught me (Part 2)

2011-09-07T08:12:00.000-07:00

Lesson #2 my Daughter taught me.

Everyone has a gift, find yours and remember if you don't use it you'll make God sad.

8 years ago, I found myself by the side of my dear friend's bed as cancer closed a door to her life here with us and opened a new door to life in heaven. During that time I was spending lots of hours by her side, helping around the house and trying to figure out what to tell her two beautiful young daughters as to why their mommy was so sick.

I was by her side all night at times and that meant that things in my house were put on hold. My wonderful husband was working, trying to pick up the slack for me and take care of our two young kids so I could be by her side. I am blessed to have such a wonderful man who would give me all the time I needed with her and never complain for a moment that he had to take on more work.

One Sunday evening I was sitting on my front porch, tired and crying from the sadness in my heart. I felt guilty that we didn't even have milk in the house for breakfast and I was feeling like a bad mom for not being there with my kids. My beautiful girl had just taken a bath and was in her little PJ's. As I sit here typing this and I find myself breathing deeply as if I am trying to take in the smell of her clean and wet hair. If you are a parent you will know what I mean when I say there is nothing better than cuddling with your child and breathing in the aroma of a freshly washed head of hair and the smell that children's shampoo gives them.

That night she came outside and was doing cart-wheels in the yard and talking with me in between them (she had grown out of sining everything by than but she was still my little girl). She had gone to church that morning with her best friend and her momma (my very special friend) was her Sunday school teacher. My daughter asked me why I was sad and I told her I was sad for my friend and that I felt bad that I was not taking care of my family like I should be.

What would happen next would impact me to the very core of my heart. I can see it as clear as day, the sun was setting, the air smelled crisp and she bounced up to me in her little PJ's with her wet hair in ringlets and put those soft little hands on my face. What she told me filled me with the greatest feeling of joy. She said, "I went to Sunday school today and you know what I learned?" " I learned that God gives us all gifts. Each one of us has something different and if we don't use the gift that God gave us, we make him sad". She then put her arms around me and said, "Your gift is taking care of people and you need to do it or you'll make God sad" I am teary just thinking about those sweet words. Next she said, "Don't worry about us mommy we are going to be okay, you need to be with them". Powerful words for a 8 year old.

She than bounced back to the grass to do more cart-wheels and I sat there with tears of joy streaming down my cheeks. Little did she know that a few weeks before I had been given one of those tests to find your gifts so you would know where you could serve in the church. That test had only made me more confused because none of the choices seemed to fit me. That night I found my gift and I began to understand that each of us is given a very special gift and it is not to be found in a test. We just need to be who we are and it will fall into place. For me however, it took little extra help from very smart and soft hearted little girl to find my gift.

I slept good that night and went back to my friends house the next day to take care of her and family until it was her time to see Jesus. I am glad I was there and my daughter was right, they were okay. A few days later my friend went to dance with Jesus and I am thankful for the time I got to spend with her.

Please remember that you too have a very special gift and as my daughter said, "If we don't use our gifts we make God sad" I hope you find your gift if you haven't already.

How I hope you will check back in to see what the 3rd lesson was that my daughter taught me.

Thanks for reading my blog and I would love to hear what your gifts are and if there is anyone in your life that has taught you things like my daughter has taught me.

God's blessings!

Things my DAUGHTER taught me (Part 1)

2011-09-05T19:32:00.000-07:00

The day my daughter was born I watched my husband fall head over heals in love with that 6 pound bundle of joy. As time would go by, that little girl grew and continued to wrap her daddy around her pretty little finger.

Everything to her was a song. I mean she sang EVERYTHING. Our house was a real life musical complete with the customs that spilled out of her dress-up box. Oh how she would light up when her dad came home, she would sing and dance right into his arms. Her daddy would give her the world if she just asked.

My daughter has always had a soft side about her, sometimes it was hidden under her daring personality but, I knew it was in there. Under the dirt she brought in with her from outside, all the bugs she has collected, the horse's hoof that fell out of her pocket into my washer and the pile of rodent bones I found on her counter, there has always been a sensitive soul within her.

When she was about 4 we had a Christmas play in our church and my husband, son, and myself were in the play. We had invited my dad, my bonus mom, and other members of my family. My dad is a great guy but the whole church thing isn't his cup of tea. My daughter sat on his lap that night and at the end of the play the lights dimmed and we sang "Silent Night". She turned herself around, knelt in my dad's lap, and placed her hands on his face. Her little voice belted out that song with such feeling it brought tears to my dad's eyes. He told me that she really understood what she was singing about. God had taken root in her little heart and it was obvious to those around her.

That little girl knew God from a young age. Looking back she was walking with Jesus way before I ever really knew what it was like to be in a relationship with Christ. It would be about another 3 years until I would really begin my walk with Christ and I began to understand that it was more than just showing up to church on Sunday because it was the right thing to do.

Looking back I see that God was using her in mighty ways that would affect not just me but, my husband and son also. When I think of her singing everything, her dancing and how she ran to her daddy with great joy when he came home, it still makes my heart melt. Like I said before, her daddy would have given her the world if she just asked. I see now that if we run to our Daddy in heaven and jump into his arms with joy and songs of praise he too will want to give us all our hearts desires.

It was that soft spirit in her that has lead me to write this 3 part blog post. Thanks to her she has taught me so much about God from a young age and I can't wait to see what God has in store for her future.

Lesson 1: Give with a open heart, never expect anything in return

From about the age of 6 my daughter started wanting to help people. She asked me one day if she could use her allowance to buy supplies so that she could make cards to sell and then give the money to the food bank. For a little thing she blew my mind. She would turn in a $100 dollars at a time to the food bank. That led her to lemonade stands for the food bank and for St. Jude's hospital. Then she started taking orders for cards and she even put them in a craft show. We told her we would match what she raised and found ourselves writing checks for a $100 and up.

For Christmas last year she asked for us to let her pick out of the World Vision catalog some animals to send to needy families instead of her getting so many gifts. She then came to me and asked, "Can I take my own money on top of that and buy more things in the catalog to give for Christmas?" She has shown me to never think that you can't make difference, she's shown me the joy of giving with expecting nothing in return and she has shown me how to be the hands and feet of Christ.

One day I remember my son saying, "she has got IT, she is right with God and I want that" That little girl was one of God's instruments in her brother's salvation and she helped my husband and I to really see what it means to walk with Christ not just go through the motions.

I hope you will want to check back in to see parts 2 and 3 on, "Lessons my daughter taught me" and I hope that you to will want to be like her, singing with joy as you run into Abba Father's arms for he longs to love you and give you eternal life in heaven and to fill the desires of your heart.

The painter of light

2011-08-28T09:24:00.000-07:00

Thomas Kinkade is known as a painter of light. He has a wonderful way of making a painting come to life by making them shine with light from the windows of the most peaceful looking cottages and from street lights on beautiful streets scenes he has painted. I found this in his biography, Bridges are one of his favorite subjects, as are steps or grassy inclines leading upward or through a gate-images that are symbols of his religious faith. Some of his paintings actually are visual depictions of Bible verses, such as his A Light in the Storm, taken from John 8:12: "I am the light of the world."

Being a picture person I can't help but think of God, the creator of the universe with the world laid out before him as his canvas carefully painting a perfect picture. Each of us he gently creates taking his time because he loves us. Just as Thomas Kinkade paints the light in his photos that seems so real that it draws the eyes of the onlooker deeper into the beauty of the painting, God gently paints us with the Love of his only son so that we to can shine the light of Jesus from our eyes to the world around us. Each of us has the ability to be a beautiful work of art if we allow God to be the artist. Matthew 5:14-16 says, You are the light of the world A city on a hill cannot be hidden. Neither do people light a lamp and put it under a bowl. Instead they put it on its stand and it gives light to everyone in the house. In the same way, let your light shine before men. That they may see your good deeds and praise your father in heaven. As I think of these paintings and how they relate to us showing our light, Matthew 6:22 also comes to my mind, the eye is the lamp of the body if your eyes are good you whole body will be full of light.

Another wonderful thing about a Kinkade painting is that there is more than meets the eye in each of them, there is hidden treasures if you look deep into them. Kinkade loves to show his love for his wife and daughters in his paintings by hiding there names and initials in his them. For example in the Twilight Cottage 2, the one Kinkade painting I am privlidged to own, has the letter "N" hidden 4 times in it for his wife Nannette. Searching for the hidden treasure is a fun thing and the light in the painting never seems to stop filling me with wonder because of how real it seems to be as it spills out of the painting. There has been many times I have wanted to look for some hidden switch or cord because it seems that there should be some electrical source powering the painting. In the same way Kinkade marks his pictures to show his love for his wife and daughters, God to leaves his mark on us claiming that we are his children.

God wants to spill his light out of us like the light in the paintings and God also as the ability to show us the hidden treasures when we seek him. Colossians 2:2-3 My purpose is that they may be encouraged in heart and united in love, so that they may have the full riches of complete understanding , in order that they may know the mystery of God, namely Christ in whom are hidden all the treasures of wisdom and knowledge. Paul is teaching us that when we seek Christ we gain true wisdom and we gain the treasure of Salvation!! What could be greater than finding a hidden treasure full of Love, wisdom, truth, and SALVATION!

Stand back and look at yourself as you would look at one of the Thomas Kinkade paintings I am writing about. What do see and what do you think others would see when they look at you. Is the love of Christ shining form you? Do you carry within you the treasure of salvation? When others look at you do they see that light and wonder what is that, how can I have that? Do you hide that treasure or do you share it with others in actions and words.

God in his mighty love has painted each of us in our own special way and he longs to be the painter of light in each one of us if we will allow him to. I pray that my light shines each day and that it will guide others to a love like no other. Like a Thomas Kinkade painting I pray that you too will let your light shine and that people will see in you a treasure that they too will long to find have for themselves.

What is important to us is important to our Daddy in heaven

2011-07-30T14:45:00.000-07:00

The other day I was standing in the kitchen at our family cabin. As I looked out the window I could see my two nephews sitting at the picnic table playing with their hot-wheel cars. They were both very intent on what they were doing and it made me smile to see them play with their cars. As I stood there and doing the dishes my brother walked out and sat down at the table with them to partake in the hot wheel driving around the table.

I stood there with my heart overflowing with joy as I watched my brother interact with his son’s. My brother is a great dad and what is important to his son’s is important to him. There were so many other things at that moment that could be done but my brother saw his boys doing something that they enjoyed and he chose to take part in it. It was hard to tell who was getting more joy out of driving the cars, the boys seemed so happy to have their father join them and my brother seemed blessed to spend time with his sons.

I stood there watching them and it hit me that God wants to be a part of everything we do. We have a heavenly father who wants to be a part of our lives. What is important to us is important to him. One of my favorite things is to get in a work out and I love to invite God to join me in my worship music and in my prayer time as I take a walk or a jog. When we allow God to join in our daily activities the blessing are a two way street. We are blessed by the father’s presence and he delights in spending time with us.

Just like my brother who is full of love for his boys, God is full of love for us. He longs to be in our day-to-day life, to enjoy our highs and to carry us through our lows. No matter what it is, our Daddy in heaven who wants to join us in everything we do. I hope you let God spend time with you each day it what you enjoy.

God is like an all you can eat buffet

2011-07-25T17:44:00.000-07:00

Every once in a while my dad likes to take us all to the local buffet for a all you can eat dinner, he loves it because the grandkids can get what ever they want, it is fast and everyone leaves full.

The hot out of the oven rolls are my favorite along with a little mashed potatoes and gravy and I have blown my calorie intake for the whole week. We laugh about wearing our buffet pants so we can get our moneys worth. (For those of you that don’t know what buffet pants are, they are sweats or loose fitting pants, to help avoid having to undo your pants on the ride home after we have over eaten at the buffet) Oh, did I forget to mention the yummy sweets to wrap up the meal with. I often think I’ll need to run a half marathon to burn those extra calories off but it is always a fun family time so it is worth it.

Sitting in Church I got the picture of God being much like a buffet, just like we step up to the lay out of all kinds of food with a empty plate, we can step up to God and fell our souls with exactly what we need. The best thing about his buffet is that it is free!! One day we may need a serving of Grace, with a double helping of forgiveness. The next time we might need Strength, peace, and comfort.

Just think of all the wonderful things that we can help ourselves to when we step up to the Buffet of the Lord. You can pick from, Joy, wisdom, understanding, compassion, kindness, love, forgiveness, comfort, strength, peace, gentleness, patience, clarity, rest, grace, and healing just to name a few of the wonderful things he offers.

There is no limit on the serving sizes you can take. You can come as often as you need! There is no guilt when you serve up at his buffet, there is no shame and you always feel satisfied.

Psalm 34:8 says,  Taste and see that the Lord is good. Oh, the joys of those who take refuge in him! Don’t you think it is time to step to the buffet and start loading up your plate with what you need? There is never a line and it is always open.

What are you waiting for, go and get your fill!!

Don't forget to empty the trash!!

2011-07-11T16:34:00.000-07:00

Once a week my husband rolls the garbage can to the end of the driveway to be picked up by the garbage men. Some weeks we have so much garbage that my husband can be seen climbing up on top of the garbage and jumping to smash it down so we can get one more load of trash into the can.

Why is it so easy to let go of that kind of trash and yet the personal trash in our lives we choose to hang on to. In a sense we fight to push it down into ourselves like my husband stomps our trash down in the can. By pushing down our trash, I am talking about our past sins that we can't let go off, we can never really be free and clean from our sin.

My pastor talked last night in church about how when we repent from our sins Jesus forgets about them. I guess he puts them in the garbage and puts a lid on it. So why can't we do the same? We often repent and than we take it back. I know I wouldn't want to dig through my garbage can to pick some gross garbage out so I can stick in the back of my closet and yet it is so easy for us to go and dig our sins back out and hang onto them.

I love knowing that Jesus never holds our trash over our heads. He won't bring up our sin to cause us shame. Jesus knows how to take out the trash if we would just let him. If you have been carrying around a sin let it go. Stop hanging on to the trash and press into Jesus. Hang on to him and not the lies and trash that satin loves to pile on us. There is freedom in Jesus you just need to get on your knees and give it up your sin. He paid the price so it is free for us to dump our trash and any day can be garbage day. He is waiting to dump your trash so what is stopping you?

Profitable Living

2011-06-18T15:47:00.000-07:00

Profitable. In business it's all about making a profit. A profitable business is a good business, it succeeds while a business that shows now profit fails. Let me clarify, I am not lumping non-profit businesses into this.

A coffee shop is not going to sell their product without taking in the cost of everything, from the cost of the beans, the cost of rent, wages, and so on. It is all calculated into the equation to determine the cost of your coffee so that they can make a profit off of it. Your probably wondering where I am going with this. "Profitable" may seem like a strange word to focus on but trust me it's not. It hit home with me yesterday and it seemed to be the word that God wanted to stick into my head and my heart.

Yesterday I jumped into my daughters car to hit the road and head to a tournament for my son. My daughter had taken her Ipod connection out of her car and forgot to turn the radio down. I turned the key and the speakers boomed with static. Being the easily scared mid-life domestic goddess I am, I was lucky I didn't hit the gas and run the car into the wall and into my laundry room. Pardon me I have seemed to digress. I hit the turner to get anything on but static and the first station it picked up was Moody Radio. God had something to tell me.

They were having a discussion about a politician who recently stumbled. I am not going to go into who it was or what he did because it is not the point I am trying to make. What she said that stuck out to me was that he didn't make a choice that was "profitable" to him. Hum, Profitable, I liked that. Did he gain anything from his choice, better yet when any of us choose to so something do we take the time to think if it is "profitable" to us. Will it grow us closer to God or pull us into the darkness of sin? Do we gain from it or will loss from it. She said something that hit home to me, when we choose to look at porn, take part in sexting, or any other number of worldly things that we are faced with, we are not doing any thing illegal. There is now law against it so many times people think because it is not illegal it is all good. That is where we need to choose to make the profitable choice. We need to realize just because it is legal doesn't mean it is right and profitable to us. When we choose to cross that moral line we dishonor God and how can we gain in doing that. Corinthians 10:23 All things are lawful, but not all things are profitable. All things are lawful, but not all things edify.

As I drove on I listened to callers and the word profitable keep going around in my head. About a hour later into my drive there it was again. A man whom I didn't catch his name was giving a quick sermon and as he was summing it up he asked are you living your life in a way that is profitable? I love how God gets his point across to us when he wants us to learn something. I laughed to myself that "profitable seemed to be the word of the day.

Today it still rolling around in my head and my heart and it has led me to this post. If a business choose to do things that wouldn't bring them a profit, they would go bankrupt and would end up shutting their doors. In a sense they would die. We are much the same when you look at the word profitable. If we don't choose things that are not profitable spiritually we to will die by missing out on the eternal life that was promised to us.

When we honor God, our bodies, our parents, our spouse and our neighbors we are being profitable. When we seek God with our hearts, when we press into his word and when we spend time in prayer the reward is eternal life. Talk about being profitable! When we choose to say to no sin, to be honest, and to do what is morally right we gain the blessings of God. The whole idea of profitable living is kind of the same idea that we often see on bumper stickers, "WWJD". When we stop to think what Jesus would do and we choose to so what is honoring to God and not what is socially acceptable we are living a profitable life.

I leave you with this one question: Profitable living or spiritual bankruptcy? I know I want. I want to make a profit!

You can have it all!

2011-06-01T09:42:00.000-07:00

You can have it all!! What is “ALL”? I saw a magazine cover saying you can have it all, the right jeans, the right hair, and the right make up. If that is having it “ALL” than I am totally unsatisfied.

Sure I want my hair and make up to look good and I love a pair of jeans that fits right but I want more of live than that. So that leads me to asking myself, what is “ALL”?

Yes I want to have a home over my head, a happy marriage, and good health, plenty of friends, laughter, healthy children and good times. Yes I long to have pretty decorations, nice clothes and fun trips. We all do, I am human but is it all that stuff that allows me to have it “All”?

We so often get caught up in the day-to-day grind what out ways all the material things and the worldly things. We can so easily forget the beauty in a sunset, the joy of watching a baby play at the park, or the smell of the air after it rains.

I am sitting in my car typing this as my son and his friend try out for a college closer to home. There is a river next to the parking lot and the sound of the water rushing by is like a symphony when you add the chirping birds and the sound of the bats hitting the balls on the baseball and softball fields. Sometimes it is things like this we take for granted when we are so busy running the race of life and trying to have it “ALL”

Besides the beauty of the world around me and, the simple pleasures of, a walk in the park or, the sound of a river rushing by that I sometimes forget: having it “All” for me it is having a father in heaven who loves me for just who I am. It is having the love and forgiveness of Christ. Having it all means knowing that I will have eternal life in heaven and until that day comes I know that God will never forsake me as I live my day to day life. That to me is having it “ALL”

What does it mean to you to have it “ALL”?

Put the plug in the gossip drain

2011-05-16T09:58:00.000-07:00

Gossip. It is like a drain, it sucks you in the same way it sucks water down it.

Is it sucking you in?

Gossip can be so easy to fall in to, we all do it. Just one little tid-bit won't hurt anyone we think. The problem is one tid-bit can lead to one more and before we know it we can be discussing the personal life of others that needs not to be talked about. "did you hear so and so got a divorce?", did you hear he had a affair?" "Did you hear they are broke or that their kids are out of control." We have all been there. Why is it that someone else's pain can give us such joy to talk about? I am not perfect in anyway and let me be honest it is one area of my life where God is really working on me.

I have really had to ask God to convict my heart when this ugly side of me tries to pull me down the drain. I am getting better in this area and I am learning to see how fast it happens. I have learned to remove myself from lots of conversations when I see it happening and it feels so much better in my heart to walk away from taking about others pain and personal matters.

What about you? Do you find yourself sitting with a group of friends talking about the pain of someones divorce or how someone has gotten them self into some kind of trouble? Do you also get sucked down the gossip drain.

Gossip has a way of making us feel better about our selves when we see someone else mess things up worse than we do in our own lives. It is a double edged sword, on the opposite side of that good feeling we seem to get when we gossip, we dis-honor God and how can that make us feel good at all.

Gossip is a sin, plain and simple. It is wrong and yet we all seem to take part in it. It is as if we rank our sins and put gossip at the bottom of the sin list and we think it is not all that bad so we can justify it. That is not the case, a sin is a sin. The tongue is a sharp knife that can deeply cut the person on the other end of your words.

Scripture warns us about gossip and the out come of using it:

Proverbs 11:13 A gossip betrays a confidence but a trustworthy man keeps a secret

Proverbs 16:28 A perserve man stirs up dissension and a gossip separates close friends

Proverbs 18:8 The words of a gossip are like a choice morsels; they go down to a mans inmost parts

We all have the option to put the plug in and stop ourselves from being sucked down the Gossip drain. Let's all try to hold ourselves

accountable in this area of our lives.

God is the gardner of our hearts

2011-05-11T09:27:00.000-07:00

Spring! Can it really be here?

We have had a slow start where I live and snow, dark and gloom seem to have been overstaying their welcome. With spring there is new growth and new life. My husband spoke for communion this last weekend and I loved his analogy about how in the fall the trees shed their leaves and in the spring there is new birth. He related the idea to all of us needing to die to ourselves and shed our sins, to be born again just like the trees in the spring. When we are born again we are just like those trees in the spring full of new growth and new life. One of the things he said that hit me the most was that some of the trees hang on to some of their leaves refusing to drop them, they in a sense refuses to die to the fall to be reborn again in the spring. That is so true to all of us. Like the trees we all have things we won't let go of no matter how unhealthy they are: we cling to them and refuse to drop them.

What a great analogy it was. As the day went on I found myself thinking of a tree in our yard. We have a beautiful crabapple tree in our yard and in the fall of 2009 we had some guys come out and trim it along with all the other trees in our yard. A young man took to the job of trimming that beautiful tree, as he tried to shape and cut it away at it, it became like a hair cut gone bad. (If you have ever tried to trim your own hair you know what I mean, you try so hard to even the longer side to be even with the shorter side and before you know it your hair is way shorter than you want and totaly uneven.) The poor guy tried to even the tree up an before long there was the most ugly excuse for a tree where there was once a beautiful tree. He rang my door bell and stood on my step asking me to forgive him for what he had done to our tree. (I pray my look was not one of total horror as I looked at the tree) I on one hand wanted to raise my voice and ask him what he was thinking, he mangled my favorite tree and on the other hand it hit me and that I had a chance to be Christ like.

I took a deep breath, put a smile on my faith and it hit me what I should say. I told him, "Wow, you really got at it" and than I said "Sometimes God has to prune us to take away the bad growth so that we can grow stronger and you may have just done that to our tree". I told him thank you for being honest and I when he left I found myself alone in my home trying to let go of my anger about what he had done to my tree. I was thankful I had not blown up at the guy and when the owner of the company heard about it he was so sorry. He said if it didn't come back he would replace it. I keep feeling God nudge my heart that just like a tree being pruned, he prunes us and to let go of the tree and wait until the spring. As spring approached we began to see the new growth on our tree and it has become a stronger and even more beautiful tree than before. We have laughed about having that young man come over and do the same to all our other trees so that they also can look so beautiful.

God has a long list of jobs and one of them is that he is like a gardner who prunes each of us to grow stronger and more beautiful in the likeness of his son. When we first find him and shed our old life like the trees in the fall my husband talked about. We than have new growth like the trees in the spring and because God loves us, he than comes along beside us and prunes off what we seem to hold onto like the trees that hold their dead leaves all winter and into the spring. God shapes us and grows us and sometimes it hurts to have things removed but he dose it because the end result is like that of the tree in my yard I have been talking about. With all trees and plants, pruning must be done each year and God will continue to prune us all our lives to promote new growth.

I love the thought of God being my gardner and pruning me to become more and more like his son. How I long to have Christ like actions and to have the love of Christ shine in my eyes. I love what Jesus teaches us in John 15:1-8 I am the true vine, and My Father is the vinedresser. "Every branch in Me that does not bear fruit, He takes away; and every branch that bears fruit, He prunes it so that it may bear more fruit. You are already clean because of the word which I have spoken to you. Abide in Me, and I in you. As the branch cannot bear fruit of itself unless it abides in the vine, so neither can you unless you abide in Me. "I am the vine, you are the branches; he who abides in Me and I in him, he bears much fruit, for apart from Me you can do nothing. "If anyone does not abide in Me, he is thrown away as a branch and dries up; and they gather them, and cast them into the fire and they are burned. "If you abide in Me, and My words abide in you, ask whatever you wish, and it will be done for you. "My Father is glorified by this, that you bear much fruit, and so prove to be My disciples.

I am a work in progress and so are you.
Are you letting God prune away at you?

Is he the Gardner of your heart?

Count your BLESSINGS

2011-05-07T12:01:00.000-07:00

Some days are better than others. Some days we don't think we can't take another bad thing and yet in the middle of it there always seems to be a blessing if we look close enough. Other days there is one blessing after another and we feel like our feet aren't even on the ground we are so excited and filled with God's love.

Yesterday I had one of those days full of blessings, I had a wonderful talk with a special lady that seemed to bless us both in ways that touched our hearts right down to where we have tucked our pain from the past. I had a chance to be a part of God's plan and deliver some needed news to someone who has been wondering about how someone perceived her over the years. I was humbled so much that God loves me so much that he would use me in such a way. He orchestrated a chain of events that led me to getting to give some wonderful news to someone who need it.

As the day went on I was humbled by a young man of God who is being shaped into a great man of God. To watch him step up and take responsibility for something was a wonderful blessing. Than, my son and husband text me late last night that they were driving straight from Colorado and my son's college and they would be home about 3 am. I sat on my bed and praised God for my day. It was one of the best days ever. Today I have my family under one roof and the kind of blessing that warms my heart.

Not all our days are like that. There are those days like I spoke of before where we are so burdened. We wonder why is this happening, and we ask "did you forget about me God?" We think we can't go on. That is when we really need to count our blessings and sometimes we really need to look for them but they are there.

The other day I had a day like that. One thing after another went wrong and my kids were being hit from both sides. Momma bear over stepped her place trying to protect my son and I caused more problems. I sat crying my heart out, you know the kind of cry that is ugly. snot bubbles and all. I was angry with God. My son was doing the right thing and time and time again at school the sin of others was rewarded and my son was not rewarded for the grace he was showing those who wronged him. I was repenting and crying out my anger to God and It hit me. I had to look beyond the bad stuff to see the good stuff the blessings. We are the apple of God's eye. I see that as a apple comes off the tree it is dirty from the storms they endure on the tree. We wash them and polish them and they are beautiful and yummy. As I looked at this like a apple and I pushed past the hurt I was seeing hit my kids, under it I saw God's hand and his blessings. I saw my kids, standing firm in their face and pressing in harder when times got tough and there was the blessings. They truly beautiful apples in God's eyes.

Later that day my daughter took a hit and my heart was broken again by her pain, she was ready to give up from the pain and go against what she had tried so hard to stand up for. Thanks to my crying session with God earlier that day, I began to look for the blessings in this. My husband and I prayed and we saw my Daughter extend God's grace and forgiveness. The blessing was right there for all of us to see.

During this year my Son has grown in great ways, he has pressed into God, found strength in him and is truly becoming a man of God. That blessing was staring me right in the face and the other things didn't seem that big. My daughter was standing firm in her faith and speaking life into her peers and she continues to grow stronger in her walk with God even when she takes a hit for it. I thank God for those blessings.

I read a devotional a few weeks ago that said that God knows we can only take so much so the days only have 24 hours in them so that each day we can begin again. Wow that is a blessing there. Each day is a new blessing a fresh start and a gift from God.

I pray you will always count your blessings in the worst of times they are there. Sometimes we have to look a little harder when we are overwhelmed but God never fails us. His blessing are everywhere. somedays his blessing could be that we find the strength to get out of bed, somedays it is a sunset at the end of the day confirming to us that a new day is on the way. Remember to always count your blessings.

As I proof read this my kids are near by, my son has just woken up and is greeting his sister now that he is home, he tries to hug her and she she says "you probably smell", I laugh at her sisterly remark and my son scoops her up in his arms lifts her off the ground and they hug. I add one more blessing to my life with that moment and I shed some tears of Joy. Thank you God.

Please count your blessings!

His word is never changing. (HAPPY EASTER)

2011-04-24T06:57:00.000-07:00

The other day I had the funniest conversation with my Dad. I had left a text message early that morning to my step mom that I was listening to piano music (something I have given my dad a hard time about for years) I told her I was loving it and might need to barrow some of my Dad's Cd's so I could burn them.

Shortly after that I got a phone call from my dad. He was happy to hear I had developed what he thought was a good taste in music and he was laughing about how old he felt. When my step mom told him I wanted to barrow his Cd's so I could burn them, he said to her,"why would I let her have them if she is going to destroy them?" My step mom had to explain to him that to burn the Cd's means to copy them not literally sit them on fire and burn them.

My dad and I laughed so hard and I told him I was finding myself feeling old not understanding my kids at times. My son is famous for using the words "SICK" & "DISGUSTING". The last time I checked, sick meant not feeling good, to be ill and disgusting meant something was really gross. Wrong, now if something is "SICK" or "DISGUSTING" it is cool, great, and awesome. I also laughed with him about the texting they abbreviations I don't always get and that my kids laugh at me for not getting what they mean.

After I hung up the phone I felt in my heart the gentle nudging of the Holy Spirit asking me what words are the same today as they have always been, what words never change? It hit me that the words that are true, never changing and are living and breathing today just as they were some 2000 years ago, are the words of the bible. The words of the bible are the true words that we can ALWAYS count on. In our highs and lows of life they speak to us, they are the truth, they show the light and the glory of God. They are full of life lessons that apply to all of us and will always stand the test of time. They show us the love of the one and only true God who would give up his on the cross to save us ALL from our sins. Christ took that time on the cross, he took the pain and gave his life for the sins of the past, the sins of today and every sin that is yet to come.

That truth will never change! We are told us we are to never add or change the words in the bible (it stays the same unlike the dictionary that is continually updated as words and their meanings change). My pastor sent me this, it the commentary from the English standard version; Rev. 22:18–21 Prohibition of Altering the Book, Promise that Jesus Is Coming Soon, and Final Pronouncement of Blessing. I warn is the same verb as testifies in v. 20. Jesus bears witness that no mere human may add to or take away from God's words without incurring the plagues described in this book and forfeiting its blessings. Moses had warned against adding to or subtracting from the Lord's commands (Deut. 4:2; 12:32). The words of the bible have been given to everyone, the truth is the truth and it never changes and that is a clear warning that we are not to change it.

Today is Easter Sunday and we celebrate the love of Christ who gave his life so we could have eternal life and freedom form our sins. The bible tells us the TRUTH about the pain and agony Christ took as he was flogged repeatedly his flesh was torn open and I am sick to my stomach as I think about the brutal torture he took for all of our sins. A crown of thorns was put on his head causing more of his blood to spell as the thorns stabbed into him. He was forced to carry his own cross as his body continued to bleed from the torture he was given. (can you imagine being beaten in such away and then be asked to carry your own coffin to where you to where you were than going to face a slow and painful death?)

Once at the final resting place Jesus was nailed to the cross and hung to die. He was nailed to that cross for my sins, your sins, and the sins of the whole world. Every time we gossip, cheat, steal, speak badly of someone, lie, or do any number of sins we continue to drive the nails in further and further to our Lord and Savior. As I type this I find myself repenting for a sin this morning where I made fun of someone. I am sick when I think about how my stupid sin caused him to endure such pain. (my sin is off the topic about the word being true and never changing but God put it on my heart and I had to repent from it)

The truth of Christ is written in several books of the bible and the prophecy of this death can be found back in the old testament. The truth doesn't end there however, it ends with the his resurrection and the freedom that was given to all of us that day on the cross. The words of Jesus are spoken to give us hope. Right up to his death the words of Jesus are recorded for us. Luke 23:34 Jesus said, "Father forgive them, for they do not know what the are doing"

Today we celebrate that our Lord and Savior has risen and that he'll come again someday. Like Christmas, Easter is a day that many people are drawn to church. It is a day that many people pick up their bible and dust it off. God wants more of us than just Christmas and Easter. He longs to be in a daily relationship with us and to see us in his word on a regular basis so we can draw closer to him.

I pray that you will desire to pick up the bible on a daily basis, that you'll want to dive in and read the truth that is recorded it in. With the continual changes in our world it is the one thing that is never changing. THE BIBLE IS FULL OF HOPE, STRENGTH AND CAN ALWAYS BE COUNTED ON! It is much easier to understand than the changing words of today. The bible is the living and breathing words of God given freely for all of us. It is the greatest book ever written so what is stopping you? Pick it up and start reading it today.

Are you working with a Trainer?

2011-04-19T22:26:00.000-07:00

I have been watching the "Biggest Loser" and the determination in the contestants really speaks to me. They are pushed so hard in their training and in tonights episode they are bungee jumping and throwing themselves of cliffs. Talk about taking a leap of faith!

The trainers push, they encourage, and they support the contestants. I have worked with a trainer before, sometimes the trainer made be mad when they pushed and pushed me to reach new goals. There was times when I thought I was not going to make it and my trainer would get in my face and say keep it up, you can do it, don't stop, keep going.

I see God as my trainer, he is the trainer of my heart, my soul and my life. I don't meet him in the gym and there is no outrageous fees. With God my workout consists of time in the word, time in prayer, and time in fellowship with my church. I am running the race of life and there are times when I don't feel like I can go on anymore. Sometimes the race of life is overwhelming and when it gets there God's word begins to scream into my life in the most encouraging way (Trainers are good at that whole screaming thing). Romans 5:3-5 has spoken to me many times in my life since I have allowed God to become my trainer. It says,"Not only so, but we also rejoice in our sufferings, because we know that sufferings produces perseverance; perseverance, character; and character, hope. And hope does not disappoint us, because God has poured out his love into our hearts by the Holy Spirit, whom he has given us". God's word and his love give us a strength to persevere when we want to give up. Sometimes I am mad at how he is pushing me because it hurts. Sometimes when he pulls me out of a nice and comfy place I act like a spoiled child. Many times I have gotten mad when things don't go how I wanted them to go and I have fought against God. When I do that he gently guides me where I need to be. He is big enough to handle my anger and he picks me up when I fall down. He is with me in all my highs and lows and he is my biggest fan.

There has been times when I have had to take a leap of faith, no God hasn't asked me to bungee jump or cliff jump like the contestants on the Biggest Loser but I have had to trust and take a leap of faith in a new direction that he may be moving me, there has been some difficult times that I have had to jump out in faith and trust. The contestants on the Biggest Loser where tied to all kinds of safety harness when they jumped, I am safe in the hands of God and the promise of his love and forgiveness that was given that day on the cross when his Son gave his life for me. The blood of Christ is my safety harnesses and I would much rather jump with that as my life line than what the contestants had to do on the show.

With God as my trainer the race of life is much easier to run and the reward at the end of the race is the biggest prize ever! We are all running that race. The question is, are you doing it on your own or is God your trainer?

DADDY IS HERE

2011-04-09T08:58:00.000-07:00

Recently we made decision to get another dog. We chose to go to the Human Society and adopt a dog. Wow were we in for a surprise. Little did we know the dog we took into our home had been neglected and abused. 36 hours into his time with us Rudy had worn out his welcome and I was a wreck.

We believe that Rudy was locked for hours and hours at a time in a crate, possibly left in his own urine and feces so he was not happy with the idea of going into a crate at night and it took two of us to get him in his crate. Rudy would slam his body in to our doors, and scratch them. He was even able to get our doors to open and it would take two of us to drag him back outside. When he wasn't slamming into our doors trying to break into the house, he was howling non-stop for now reason. He refused to eat, he didn't know how to fetch a ball, and he was so freaked out that his heart would race so fast and he couldn't hold still. I won't go into details as to what came from Rudy's body for the first couple of weeks while he detoxed from what had been put in his body.

My husband was out of town and I was on my own with Rudy. After lots of tears and phone calls to my husband who felt bad I was on my own with him, I started looking for a trainer. I found a trainer who came to our home to evaluate Rudy and he ended up taking Rudy with him for 3 weeks. I got to see Rudy and work with the Trainer a few times. Each time there was a positive change in Rudy.

When Rudy came back to live with us, we sent our other dog away to live with the trainer for 1 week, so he could learn some new things and to give Rudy a chance to learn the rules of his new home without any distractions. The trainer told us that Rudy was like working with a crack addict. That doesn't live you with the greatest feeling but we were determined as a family to make this work and we were seeing such great progress that we jumped right in.

That first night with Rudy back home was not a easy night. We couldn't get him to get into his crate and we thought he would be okay in our shed. Wrong, Rudy some how was able to turn the door knob, pull the door in and escape. We heard him outside howling at 2 am. We got out of bed headed outside and tried to get him back in and calm. Rudy was a maniac and if I had to guess what a crack addict looked like I would day Rudy was not to far off. I watched my husband softly pet Rudy and very softly tell him, it' okay, calm down, I am your daddy, Shh, dad is here and you are okay. I stood there and thought of how God often has to do that to his children.

Many of us have been mistreated and neglected in one way or another. We are often hurt and scared. Some of us have been molested, others beaten, or verbally abused. Some of us are so scared that we can hardly function in the day to day life that we must get through. We have been hurt in many painful ways and when we draw near to God he reaches out to us in the same way that I watched my husband calm our hurting dog. He longs to comfort us, to tell us I am here, I am your daddy, Shh, it is okay, dad is here, I have got you. Your going to be okay.

In the middle of a deep pain in my life I found myself crying out to God as I dealt with some sexual abuse that I had experienced as a child. I cried out to God, I remember saying Abba father, daddy why did you let this happen to me? I felt that deep love of God fill my heart and in my spirit I heard him say, it's okay, I am here, Daddy is here. Shh, let me take your pain. I knew at that moment that every tear drop I had cried from that experience, my father in heaven cried one right along with me.

I learned to pray in a new way that day. Often times I start my prayers with Abba Father and Daddy as I pray. Just like my husband tried to calm and love our dog that night, God wants to do the same to us. He longs to love us, carry us in our pain and give us hope. I thank God for loving me the way he does and I hope you know how much he loves you also.

We are two weeks into our time with Rudy now and he is becoming one of the best dogs ever. We love him so much and we have used that love to look past all the bad. God has the kind of love for us, he can look past the bad (our sin) and see the good in us. With the help of a great trainer have been able to find the GOOD Rudy. We love him and we know he loves us. I'll never forget that night when I watched my husband gently talk to Rudy and how calm he became. It really spoke to me and I knew that I would have to write about it someday.

I leave you with this: If you are hurting God can handle it, let him be there for you, cry out to him all your hurts and fears, tell him that you need him and than rest in him, let him speak to you gently in your heart and you'll hear him. "Shh, it's okay, Daddy is here"

Cottonwood Christianity

2011-04-07T18:10:00.000-07:00

We have a family cabin at Priest Lake (Idaho) and in the 60 plus years our family has been there are lots of cottonwood trees that tear out of the ground in the big storms. Sure, some of the cedars and other trees take damage, but they stay in the ground.

When the cottonwoods grow, their roots tends to stay towards the surface, in other words they are shallow. They grow out sideways and don’t have a good foundation. That is why they tip over in the storms. The Cedars and other trees around have a root system that presses in deeper and deeper to the ground, building a good foundation.

We have gone in and removed several cottonwoods over the years to protect our cabin, cars and other buildings because we get some crazy storms up there. They are a pain in the neck. Their root system, because of the way they grow seems to have a never-ending supply new growth that continues to grow out and not down leaving us with lots of new weak trees. (I read an article that said in Oregon they have banned the planting of cotton woods in some neighborhoods because of the damage the roots do and because they tip over on homes and property)

Just like the two kinds of trees, those that grow deep roots and those that grow shallow roots, there are also two kinds of Christians-- the ones with deep roots that can withstand a storm and the ones with shallow roots that get knocked over by the storm.

Luke 6:46-49 . Says, "Why do you call Me, 'Lord, Lord,' and do not do what I say? I will show you what he is like who comes to Me and hears My words and puts them into practice. He is like a man building a house, who dug down deep and laid the foundation on rock. When a flood came, the torrent struck that house but, could not shake it, because it was well built. But the one who hears My words and does not put them into practice is like a man who built a house on the ground without a foundation. The moment the torrent struck that house, it collapsed and its destruction was complete."

Jesus' parable about the two houses shows us we need a strong foundation – we need to have deep roots. This parable tells us the difference between storm-proof and non storm-proof faith. Both the men heard what Jesus said. However only one of them put what Jesus said into practice. Are you regularly getting into God’s word on your own. Do you act on what you read in your everyday life and put it into practice or do you just skim over it and walk away taking nothing with you like the man who built his house on the ground without foundation.

When you get into the word on a daily basis your roots grow a little deeper into Jesus. Just going to meetings won’t do it, just going to church won’t do it and, just hanging out with Christians won’t do it. We need to be in the word daily. (I am so guilty of this, there are times I hear something and I dive into the word and then in a few days I am back to my old habits. It is something I have had to really change in my life. I want to have roots that will hold strong in the storms of life.) When I got this Idea about the cottonwoods and my faith, I felt it was just for me. A reality check from God telling me I need to be in his word if I am ever going to grow and if I want to keep hearing from him. Now I see it is something for all of us so I wanted to share it.

God has been pushing me and I have shared at church but how can I continue to share if I am not really plugged into the Lord in all ways. I am in the bible now. I am learning and I am putting into action what Jesus is saying. I have begun to make it a priority to read/study each day. I hope you do to because like I said before, every time you do that, your roots go a little deeper into Jesus. He wants to change you through His Word a little bit each day.

Are you deep rooted or are your roots shallow like a cottonwood? When the storms of life hit will you be knocked to the ground? Or, do you have the kinds of roots that will leave you standing strong no matter how fierce the storm gets?

Learning to dance in the storm.

2011-03-30T18:34:00.000-07:00

March 9th. pain in my back and stomach, not feeling good, I hope I am not getting the flu or something? (been dealing with the pain for some time now and I had thought a few weeks before I was getting a bladder infection)

March 10th feeling better today, looking forward to spending some much needed time with a girlfriend if we can get everything to work out we are going to head out of town for 2 nights.

Sat, March 11th. The pain is back again, feeling like I might throw up, than there is a hot flash. Air, I need air but I hurt. I find my self laying on the floor near a open window breathing in the cold mountain air. My friend and I think it is a bladder infection and she heads to the hotel lobby to ask where she can go to get me cranberry juice. Soon I began to feel okay to move away from window and she makes sure I am comfortable on the coach. My friend takes my hand, and she begins to pray for me. It is music to my ears, sitting before me is my friend who has not yet become a mom and out of her comes a prayer that is spoken with the gentleness of a mother voice. I am blessed beyond words.

March 12th Heading home, pain seems to come and go. I decide I should go to the Dr on Monday to rule out a bladder infection.

March 13th at the Dr's office, I wait while they run the urine sample, they ask me to come with them and I wait in his private office. My Doctor is a wonderful man, he knows God and he has been with me since I was 22. He has done so many surgery's on me and he once told me that he hoped I believed in something bigger than myself. He hope I believed in God because with the endometriosis and scar tissue he removed from me I should have never been able to carry a baby and I have 2 beautiful children who are now 18 and 16.

Soon he comes in, he tells me there is no sign of a bladder infection, no blood in my urine so it is not kidney stones but that it doesn't make sense. I am in pain so there might be a blockage in my kidney. He orders a ultrasound.

Tues. March 14th, 7:30 am. I am at my ultra sound. I lay on the table, PAIN, why is this hurting? She is only touching my stomach, she isn't pushing hard, PAIN, I BEGIN TO SWEAT. I tell the ultrasound tech that I am hurting. "do you have your ovary's?" she asks. I tell her I have my left one only everything else was taken about 10 years ago.

It is taking forever, the pain continues, she marks and marks on the screen, she rolls me this way and that way and keeps saying she is sorry I hurt. She leaves the room for what seems like forever. When she returns she tells me my Dr. will have my results by the next day.

Fast forward a few hours, I have a message, it's my Dr. "Hey Kim, I need you to call me. We need to talk, we need to look into this more, run some more tests" WORRY HITS, MY AUNT DIED OF OVARIAN CANCER, WHAT IF, WHAT IF. Don't panic Kim, it's probably nothing, just more scar tissue, you have been here before. breath, breath. no worries. I call the Dr. back. He is out. Breath don't panic. I call my husband and he drives home for lunch to hug me wait with me for the Dr. to call back.

No call yet, my husband needs to get back to work. ALONE. I sit in my kitchen. FEAR hits, the tears spill and I begin to cry out to God. I AM SCARED, CANCER IS IN MY FAMILY, WHAT IF, CAN I HANDLE THIS. PLEASE GOD LET IT BE NOTHING, LET IT BE THE SAME STUFF I HAVE HAD BEFORE, PLEASE FATHER I AM SO SCARED. I BELIEVE YOU IN ALL THINGS, I CHOOSE TO JUMP IN WITH BOTH FEET IN THE NEW DIRECTION YOU WERE MOVING ME BUT NOW I AM SCARED. I SOUGHT THE LORD, AND HE ANSWERED ME, HE DELIVERED ME FROM MY FEARS (Psalm 34:4the first scripture I ever learned). I SAY IT OVER AND OVER. PLEASE GOD CALM ME, THERE IS NO FEAR IN YOU. FEAR IS FROM THE ENEMY AND I SAY HE HAS NO BUSINESS IN THIS!! breath Kim, calm down, trust in God. FATHER SHOW ME SOMETHING, GIVE ME A WORD. PEACE GIVE ME YOUR PEACE THAT SURPASSES ALL UNDERSTANDING. peace comes, my breathing slows and my tears begin to be tears of joy, not fear. I feel hope, hope in my God. there is a gentle nudge in my spirit, look up, look up. I lift my head and there on my wall is Jeremiah 29:11 for I have plans for you declares the Lord, Plans to prosper you, and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future. I let go, it is now before the cross. My family verses begins to move in my head. Philippians 4:13All things are possible through Jesus who gives me strength.

God's timing is wonderful as soon as I gave it up to him, the phone rang. It was my Dr. and he explained that the found a very large and complex cyst on my ovary. It is just over 4 inches in diameter. It is very complex he said again. They are not sure about the blood flow. Not sure what he meant by that, I just keep thinking he never said cancer so I can handle this. He says it needs to be looked at again they need to go in and really look at it. wait! confusion. I have had a cyst before, it went away on its own, why do we need to look at this? And than he says it, with your family history, we need to look at this cyst. We can go in and look or we can just get it out, your ovary has more than likely shut down. I tell him, get it out. I don't need it to make me a women, I can't have kids anymore because I no longer have a uterus so get it out. He tells me that is what he wants to do but that I he must give me the alternative to have another look at it and than decide what to do. Get it out I tell him, just let me get past this weekend that is ahead of me because I am running the prom for my daughters school. I tell him that he can take it after that. My Dr. also tells me that is was a lucky find by the ultra sound tech. They were not even looking for anything like that. She listened to what I was saying and I give thanks to God for her.

FEAR TRIES TO CREEP BACK IN BUT I WON'T LET IT. There is not openings until the 12th of April, they call in pain medicine and I call my husband to give him the news. We laugh that one hysterectomy wasn't enough for me, I need to get it done again. I can handle this, they gave me stuff for pain if I need it. I know he said complex and something about blood flow, but cyst sounds good to me. piece of cake, been there done that before, I'll be ship shape soon. This is all just precaution because of my family history.

For the next few days the pain is worse by the end of the day and my sleep begins to become less.

March 19th, Saturday and the day of the prom. My pain has been on and off over the last days. I have stayed down to make sure I feel good for the big night. My friend who was with me when I first thought something was wrong came to do my daughters hair and make up. She looked so beautiful.

I hadn't needed my pain pills to this point, I took some ibuprofen and headed out to oversee the prom. as the night went on my pain became worse. I fought tears as I talked to another parent and friend of mine. My wonderful committee stepped up, they tore down, didn't make me do anything and got me out of there fast. I headed home to break open the pain medicine. (let's just say I would never have been a good addict) my skin was crawling and I only slept a hour or two.

March 20th, I am feeling broken, my friend, the wife of my pastor prays for me and I cry. Church begins, I can't get comfortable, I shift in my chair at church, I fight the tears. The lack of sleep from the night before and the restless nights of that week begin to catch up. A women from our church asks me how I am and I break into tears, she lays hands on me and her prayer is soothing to me.

March 21st, Another sleepless night, am I loosing my mind, I can hardly function. I need sleep but I am not taking another pain pill, my skin crawls and I feel scared on them. I call my Dr's office and tell them, I can't wait another 2 weeks. My pastor prays for a opening, the Dr's are each allowed so much time a week to preform surgery and now the spots are filled. The women who handles the scheduling realizes she miss understood the date I gave her for the prom that I needed to get past. She thought it was the later in the month so the earliest day she could get me in was on the 12. Now everything was full. My doctor and her would work on it. My Dr. assured me he would get me in. My pastor continues to pray for a opening and so do I.

I get a phone call and I am scheduled for the 29th now. The pre-opp appointment on the 24th. THANK YOU GOD, YOU ANSWERED THAT PRAYER.

March 22 and 23 new pain medicine and I get two nights of sleep that are better than before and I am beginning to function again. The pain is steady now and I begin to look back over the past month and a half. I start to see the signs that I thought was from to hard of a work out, or I thought I was getting sick, I remember saying I am fighting something, I even thought I was getting a bladder infection about 4 weeks prior.

March 24th. At my pre-opp appointment. Let's just say I didn't see this coming. 1st he tells me that another Dr. gave up his operating room and is going to assist on the surgery. PRAISE GOD FOR THIS. My doctor has to do a exam. He tells me it is sitting on my bladder. that explains why I was having the symptoms of a bladder infection. Than there is that word, the one that starts with a "C". Excuse me, did you just say cancer? BREATH KIM. DON'T PANIC. He tells me that the ultra sound suggests that it is a cyst and but with my family history and the way that this cyst looks he can't tell me for sure it is not cancer. PROCESSING. Are you worried I ask? He explains, like we talked about before this is complex and we are not sure about the blood flow and you have a family history. I realize he did tell me all this, I just don't think I wanted to hear it and I stayed focused on the word cyst. STOP!!! Your taking this vaginally I ask? No he says, I thought you understood when we talked about it being complex. I need to take it out abdominally. Now he is talking about it connecting on to blood vessels and other organs possibly. It might be hooked on my bladder or my bowel. There are blood vessels involved, what is he saying? He tells me that need to have a good look at it, they are going to tie things off to prevent bleeding. STAY CALM, DON'T FREAK OUT. NO TEARS KIM, GOD IS IN CONTROL. Next he tells me that while they have me open they are going to fill my abdominal cavity with a fluid that they will suck back out and run for cancer cells. There is that "C" word again. I hold it together as he calmly tells me that he may need to look at my lymph nods also while he has me open. CAN THIS REALLY BE HAPPENING?

Transfusion risk is the next topic, he wants to go over the risk of aids and how far we have come in the last five years. STOP comes flying out of me. than in a calm voice, I say do what needs to be done, I trust you as my doctor. I can't be let this scare me, I AM IN GOD'S HANDS. He says that is true.

If I had known this I would have had my husband come with me. Looking back he was trying to tell me this that first day, I just didn't want to listen, blew it off as the fact that he was good Dr. that was just being safe with my family history. I sent a text to my husband asking him to pray and I told him I would call soon.

I left the Dr's office and headed for my pre-opp at the hospital and blood draw at the hospital. I got a text from my friend who was with me when I thought I had a bladder infection, I told her what I found out and she began to pray for me and she sent me a scripture (Psalm 103: Who forgives all your sins and heals any diseases) It was so comforting to me. I kept a happy face on and when I was done with the appointment I called my husband. I got a little teary but I knew I had to hold it together. I re-read the text from my friend and I found my self praising God. My friend had just recently re-dedicated her life to God and I drove home giving thanks for what he was doing in her life. Looking at it now I see that God used her to get me home safe that day.

As the day went on, I pressed in to the Lord more and more, I saw this in a new light. What had been put before me sounded scary, I could freak out or I could really trust, I could use this for his glory if I allowed him to lead me. I saw it as a chance to really show my faith. A storm seemed to be brewing around me and I could just stand there and wait for it to pass or I could learn to dance it in. God extended his hand I took it and I began to dance. That day he whirled me around and around, the sweetest song of his love began to resound in my heart and I found a boldness in him. I was going to speak of him to others, I told him good or bad what ever happens, I trusted him fully with my life and I wanted him to use me to build his kingdom. With that came the most incredible peace as I danced with God.

My dad called that night. We were talking and he said it is okay to be afraid. I love my dad but I don't know where he stands with the whole God thing. There it was right there a open door to speak my faith. I told my dad I was not worried, I was in God's hands, I had given it up to him and I trusted him. I would continue to pray, and continue to trust. I wouldn't panic or worry about what I can't control. He responded, "that is a good place to be". I closed my eyes that night and I gave thanks that I had a moment to share my faith with my dad.

I didn't get much sleep that night, the dog we rescued came to live with us that day and our first night was a long night with him. That will be a story for another day.

March 25th. the alarm rings at 4 am, my husband is flying to Colorado to see our son. I am exhausted and am going to face the day on 2 hours of sleep and my pain is bugging me. I spend time with our new dog and there is something about him that touches my heart. He is a work in progress. I headed out to give more blood, before my surgery and I had to take care of a couple of little things. I listened to worship music and talked a lot with God that day. He lead me to the Healing rooms for prayer. What happened there was from God and there is now other way to describe it.

I didn't give much information. I wanted them to pray in the spirit (in other words, how they were led in their hearts). What God put on their hearts would work for me. One of the women said, I feel the need to pray that the generational cancer in your family be ended today. I never said one word about cancer, I never told her that my grandmother and my aunt had cancer. They were on my dad's side but it was still a issue. I stood there with her a prayed for that and I was humbled by God. Next we took on the pain. We prayed that I would be pain free. I began to feel a pressure in me. Almost like something was pushing down and out of me. If I hadn't been feeling it for myself I would have thought anyone else telling me this was a nut case and I would have ran away fast! By that night I was pain free. (that was until the dog acted up and I had to drag him into his crate) I laid in bed and prayed for no more pain. (Friday was the last day I took anything for pain)

March 26th. I slept so hard the night that when the alarm went off, I got mad and said darn this was the first time in over a week I have been when the alarm went off, I rolled over waiting for my husband to turn of the alarm and to my surprise he was in Colorado. I started off my day with a laugh. How I loved that day. It was so much better than Thursday. I went to my book study and my church and I had a chance to share with some beautiful women and we all gave praise for what God had done and would do. They sang over me, beautiful worship music poured out on me and into my soul. It filled me to overflowing. I thank God for each of those beautiful women. We than had our leadership meeting and again I was blessed to pray for the other women leaders in our church and to again to receive the same from them.

It was noon and it was one of the best days of my life. I came home to a very happy dog and spent about 30 minutes in the sunshine with my daughter and our new dog laughing and bonding with him. the day continued to get better and better and I continued to be filled with so much peace and joy. My pain was gone for the whole day and on into the night.

Sunday March 27th. 4:30 am I am woken up from a really hard sleep and I feel in my spirit, you have a mustard seed in your hands. Wow a mustard seed! I laid in bed trying to remember just how the verse goes about a mustard seed and all I could remember was that with the faith the size of a mustard seed a mountain could be moved. Okay God, move that cyst. Get it off what ever it is on, unhook it from what ever it may be hooked on. Shrink it. let them open me to find it is no longer as it showed in the ultra sound. May your mighty work be seen in me. What a way to start a day. Top it off with the fact that my husband and my son are coming home and it was going to be a perfect day!

Off to church I went with so much happiness. Soon the four of us would be sitting in church as a family. During worship my guys came in. My son and I held each other so tight and I started to cry. In my mothers heart all was good. The last bit of worry was now gone. I stood and sang and it hit me right than and there is I was to loose everything, all my material things it wouldn't matter because what was the most import things to me were right there. My husband, my two kids, and my church were what it was all about. I thanked God for it all. I talked to my mom after church and I told her I was blessed to have such a wonderful family. I have a huge family and I see that they are so important to me. I long to have each of them understand the joy that I have knowing God. My mom knows God and she understands my longing to know that the rest of our family(both my husbands side and my side) would know him also.

All and all it was a wonderful day!!

Monday the 28th Today was a day to be real. After the alarm went off and we laid in bed pretending that we didn't need to get up and get moving. I had to say the one big thing that was on my heart. There was a risk of this cyst or whatever it was might be attached to blood vessels or even my bladder. I didn't want to think anything bad was going to happen but I had to say something to my husband anyways. I told him that I planned on being out and back to normal in no time but that if something was to go wrong I wanted him to be sure to find someone to love and to promise he would never let the kids forget how much I loved them. I cried and he held me. While he did I said my prayers and I felt the comfort of God.

I had lots to do today to get things taken care of around the house so that I could just think about my recovery when I was out. As the day went on the pain started to come back but not as bad as it had been before and I knew I needed to get off my feet soon.

I had a chance to talk with my Dad. He is in Hawaii on vacation and it was nice to hear his voice. Something bold in me came out as I was saying good bye. He said he would be "thinking about me" I asked him while he was thinking about me if would also think about saying a prayer for me. Not sure if he will but I left him with something to think about.

Tomorrow will be here fast, I need to be at the hospital by 5:30 am. I know I'll be covered in prayer by many people and I trusting in God. When I am out and feeling up to it I'll write again. I plan on writing great news!! No matter what happens, I am in God's hands and that is the best place to be. If you are reading this and you don't know the joy of walking with God my prayer for you is that you would search your heart. God longs to fellowship with all of us. When he is with us in the ups and downs of life our burdens are much lighter. There is no way I could handle this fear of the unknown so calmly without him. He longs to love you. Let him.

God's blessings and good bye for now. I can't wait to write again.

March 30th Yesterday was my surgery. I was not up to writing due to the effects of the anesthesia and the pain medicine. Let's just say I was worshiping the plastic bucket yesterday. My surgery went well. The cyst was the size of a softball and they had to open me up like a C-section to take it out. The nasty little thing has not only attached it's self to my only remaining ovary, it has also attached to my colon, some blood vessels, my bladder and my ureter (the tube that connects the bladder to the kidney) and. I am thankful for the steady hands of the two Dr's that did the operation. Concern #1 was no longer a concern. I made it off the table with no difficulty. Concern#2, Cancer. I am happy to say that my Dr. ran the tests and he strongly feels there is no cancer to worry about. The didn't need to look at my lymph nods!! Yes, I am still waiting on the final results but in my heart there is a total peace.

I am hurting today. I am moving slow and I am very tired. It has been a emotional couple of weeks but I am thankful to have been able to walk in them and grow so much closer to God. I have seen his handy work all over this and I hope that you will also want to draw nearer to him after reading this. I am sure many of you have had a story much like this and I would love to hear how God has carried you threw the hard times. I believe we can all encourage one another in our walks.

If this has spoken to you in anyway I give God thanks for that. It was all his handy work as he took a scary situation and turned it into good. I do not think God wanted me or anyone else who is faced with sickness to have to deal with that. I don't think he ever wants anything bad to come to any of us but we live in a broken an fallen world where bad things happen. God is good always, you just need to trust him.

I realize this doesn't explain why I have lost some of my friends and loved ones from cancer just as I am sure you have lost people close to you. I can not begin to wrap my little mind around why some are healed and some are not. I just know that I need to trust him. He has been with me in some very painful times in my life and I know in my heart that every tear I have cried he has cried one with me.

God's blessings to you and thank you for reading my journey these last few weeks as I learned to dance in the storm.

The timing is in God's hands, and our hope is in God.

2011-03-23T15:34:00.000-07:00

With the resent events in Japan, I have heard people talking about the end of times. I had someone tell me that they are afraid it is coming. My response to that is that it was has been coming for the last 2000 years. Each day we are closer to what people refer to as the end. (I see it as a new beginning but many see it as the end)

Words are powerful and the use of certain words can scare people. THE END…. sounds scary. There is no hope in “The End”. When something ends; it is final and there is no more. When someone says the world is ending and they are scared I can’t help but think that their fear comes from a lack of hope. Hope is found in God, hope is found in faith, hope is found in the love and forgiveness of God. GOD IS HOPE, and when we put our hope in him there is no fear with what is to come. Romans 15:13 says, may the God of Hope fill you with all joy and peace as you trust in him, so that you may overflow with hope by the power of the holy spirit.

The sign seems to say it all, there is only one way to "HOPE"

In talking to someone about their fear that the world is coming to a end, I told that person that I was not scared the world would end because I have been saved and I know where I am going (my hope is in God), I explained however that I was scared for the people I love that don’t know the Lord. If the rapture is today or, in a 1000 years my fear is the same. I fear for the lives and the salvation of those that don’t know God but I don’t fear the rapture.

Revelations is a scary book in the bible if you don’t believe in the love of God and if you don’t put your hope in him and, fully trust him. I spoke with one of my dear friends last week about the fear that people had and both of us are filled with joy when we think of a life in the presence of Christ. My heart is torn, I so want to see Jesus return for the hope of this broken world and than my heart is burdened when I think of those that don’t know the one true God, the Creator of heaven and earth. The God that loved the world so that he would give his only son so that all who know him will not perish but will have eternal life. (John 3:16)

When we truly live a life with God in control we can grab hold of the eternal lifeline he has given us through his son, Jesus Christ. It is a gift of love freely offered to all who choose to reach out and take hold. There is hope in that!!

This conversation about the rapture really hit home with me, I need to be more active in sharing my faith, I can’t predict God’s timing, my time on earth may be finished before the rapture comes or it could happen any day. I can’t spend my time waiting and wondering, I need to spend my time pressing in and showing the love of Christ to those that don’t know the truth.

Yes the world is going to have a time of tribulation. The rapture is coming, Revelations 4:8 tells us “Holy, Holy, Holy is the Lord God Almighty, who was and is, and is to come. Yes he is coming, lets stop waiting and wondering and let’s get out there and share his love with others. There is no fear in God, there is fear of the unknown and those that don’t know God are faced with the fear of the “END” as many people call it. They don’t see the hope and new beginning of eternal life with that was poured out for all of us that day on the cross when Christ gave his life so that we could live.

For those left behind it will be something that I can’t even begin to wrap my mind around. I Know during that time more will come to know God, they will fight evil head on and will give there lives for the kingdom. The thought of those people is bittersweet. I know they will give glory and honor to God but I hope and pray that no one would need to see that. I long to have everyone know God for who he is and all he has to offer

My heart breaks for Japan and people all over the world that have been hit with destruction. Yes the earth is groaning but I refuse to live in fear of what is to come, instead I will keep my eyes on Christ and my heart focused on sharing the truth.

Only God knows the time of his son’s return and I put my trust in his timing and his plan. I hope you will find hope in God and that you will want to share his love with others. I will continue to pray for our world and that the truth will be known by many.

GOD'S TEAM

2011-03-18T08:27:00.000-07:00

Last Wednesday my phone began to ring and ring, several people close to me needed prayer for some very BIG stuff. I had a women call me and ask me to pray with her because she thought I had a deep faith. By 10 am that day I had prayed for several things and I sat down feeling a little overwhelmed. I actually asked God, “Me? Are you sure I can do this, what if I pray wrong, is my faith strong enough and are you sure there isn’t someone who has walked longer with you or who doesn’t have the sin I have had in my life”?

After praying I headed out to meet some wonderful college students at Moody Bible College in Spokane for their chapel. It was a president’s chapel, which means the president of Moody; Dr. Paul Nyquist was telecast to their chapel to watch. “God is good” is part of my blog name and this is why I have that in my blog name. He knew ahead of time what my day would be like, he knew the seriousness of some of the prayer requests that I would get that day and he knew I was going to have a chance to share my faith with a beautiful women who needed hope for her family. He put it on my heart to get into chapel with the Moody students (I laugh as I type that, they are not moody). I needed to hear that sermon!! Dr Nyquist started out by talking about a bag of baseballs he had. I am a baseball and a softball mom so let’s just say he had me at hello.

He took the baseballs out of the bag one at a time for us to see. He pointed out how each is different, some have had more hits to them than others, and some are so broken from the hits they have taken. He said they are just like us, some of us have less sin and have been hit less then others but we all have had our hits just like the baseballs in his bag. What a great analogy. Than what he said was a homerun to my ears, and my heart. He said just because you may be more hit harder than others due to your past hurt and sin, do not ever doubt that God cannot and will not use you for his kingdom. It hit me right than that God will give me all I need, he will give me the words to speak truth into peoples life, and he’ll show me in my spirit how to pray. Doubt was not from him so I needed to not allow that to creep in.

A few days later I was talking to my Son who has some big decisions about the direction he is to go for College and his future. We talked and prayed about that and then I told him about what how I was questioning my ability to be used by God and how I heard from God in that sermon at Moody Bible College. My son said something to me about working on a team with God and it was wonderful. I remember saying to him yeah it is like Philippians 4:13 that says all things are possible with Jesus. I said to my son that when we press into God and really listen he can and will show us all we need. God would show him which path to take and he would give me what I need to speak truth into the lives of the women he is putting in my path. I asked him to write down his statement about being on a team with God and e-mail it to me because what he said really stuck with me. I guess he has a little of me in him because when he went to write it down it just keep coming out and a statement turned into something even bigger. I want to share it with you. As a mom, I am proud of my boy and like one of my last posts said, If I could only do one thing right as a parent, it would be that my kids knew the Lord. I got that right!!!

I hope you like what he wrote:

“GOD’S TEAM” by my son

A team is “Two Or More People Working Together To Accomplish A Common Task”. In a united team, members accomplish tasks together that would not be possible without a collective effort. Teams also allow us to accomplish things that far exceed our abilities and are beyond what we believed possible.

God often places tasks on our hearts that seem overwhelming and often impossible. The truth… these tasks are impossible through our own human effort. God’s tasks are not given to us to better ourselves, or feel a sense of self-accomplishment through our own efforts. Rather, I believe that God gives us tasks that challenge us and often seem insurmountable. These tasks require us to press into the Lord, and in turn, we learn that with God we can accomplish these seemingly “impossible” tasks. It is a matter of trusting the Lord and having full confidence that he will provide in the areas where we lack the abilities. You don’t have to have special abilities to complete God’s work, but there is a distinct ability that God sees in you as valuable and he desires to use your specific God-given ability to accomplish his plan.

What is your God-given ability? There are no abilities that are better than another. However, abilities are useless unless we press into the Lord and take on the tasks God has for us. Take for instance the image of the “Body of Christ”. There is no body part that is more important. When we compare parts such as a hand and a foot, our fleshly nature would argue that the hand has greater value to the body. However, God made the human body so that every part is vital. In the same way, God views the feet of the Body of Christ just as valuable as the hand because they can both do God’s work, yet the tasks for the foot are different then those from the hand. The hand and the foot do not have the same abilities, thus they do not have the same tasks. Often praise is given to beautiful eyes, but has anyone given you a compliment of your ears? I am going to say probably not. In the same way, we give praise to what we perceive as the more beautiful or more “important” parts of the Body of Christ, when in reality each part is unique in its own way. The Body of Christ would not function without the unique ability that each Christian has to offer.

Maybe you are a prayer warrior and God has overwhelmed you with multiple people coming to you with burdens and you are stressed with all of the weight being placed on you. Or maybe you have Christ’s eyes and see people in need, but do not feel equipped to impact that person’s life. Maybe that is just it… God equipped you with eyes so you recognize those in need and then you have to hand it over to the Lord and let him take you beyond your abilities. The Lord knows we are not capable of doing the things he is able to do, but he has given us unique abilities that open the door for God to do His work through us. Perform your God-given ability by giving 110%, honoring God in everything you do. Remember there is no ability that is greater than another. Be humble in your ability and know that on God’s team, He can take your unique ability, and do amazing things to further His kingdom.

WOW, my heart overflows with joy when I read my son’s words. I am ready for what God has in my path and my future. I am ready to press in a new and exciting way; I am on a team with God and with him as my team captain ALL THINGS ARE POSSIBLE. I hope you want to be on his team also. He sees each of us in our own special way, it is not like when we were in elementary school and the best were picked first for the teams on the playground. (I truly was last picked if there was a ball involved; they other kids saw my lack of skill) God is not like those kids; he wants us all on his team, brokenness and all. He doesn’t hand pick the best, he wants us all and in our weakness he is able to build one heck of a strong team. I hope you are on his team!!!

What does your beauty regiment look like?

2011-03-09T06:42:00.000-08:00

In the eyes of the world beauty is on the outside. We are hit everyday with air brushed women in magazine ads. As young girls we quickly learn the power that our beauty has over young men. As women we can use our beauty/womanhood as a powerful weapon over the men in our lives. The movie Erin Brockovich comes to mind. In the movie her boss asks her how she plans on getting the information she needs out of a particular man and she responds, “there called boobs Ed”. I rest my case; a woman posse’s outer beauty and it is powerful. When we throw in some tears, we can make men putty in our hands. It is powerful weapon not always used for good.

Outer beauty is not the only kind of beauty. We are created in the image of God, in his idea of what beauty is. Somewhere along the line, real beauty has been forgotten. Real beauty comes from the heart of a women, it is found in her gentleness, her love for others and most importantly her love for God. Real beauty comes from putting others first. It radiates from loving hands when they are folded in prayer or holding someone in pain. A woman who is walking with the Lord, who is pressing into the word and who is on her knees shines real beauty, the kind of beauty that God created us for. There is great power in that inner beauty also. Think of Mother Teresa. She had an inner beauty and with that she changed the lives of many. I am sure all of us have someone in our lives that we are drawn to because of her inner beauty. We love to spend time with her because she has something that is intoxicating about her. Her joy seems to spill out onto us and we are blessed.

I have dear friend who is beautiful. She is beautiful in the eyes of the world, she is a fitness model, and she has had several photo shoots, and has been in commercials. Her outside beauty is hard not to notice. She is hands-down one of the most beautiful women I have ever seen. There is more to her than her outer beauty however, there is something about her that out shines that beautiful exterior. It is what is inside of her. She has a new joy that radiates out of her; there is a sparkle in her eyes. It comes from finding joy in the Lord. She is walking in a new way with God and what flows from her now far out shines her outer beauty. (She has always had a beautiful heart but there is even more beauty now)

She finds her strength on her knees, hands folded before God. She is now in the word and the loving heart I have known for so many years is even more beautiful now that she is in a daily relationship with Christ. Yesterday I saw her and I was drawn to her eyes. You can see Christ in them!! I love seeing the new fruit in her life. There is even more of gentleness in her now. She is a perfect example of what beauty is to look like. Her inner beauty runs so deep that it out shines her worldly beauty.

Ladies we should all strive to have that inner beauty. I am not saying we should lay our personal appearance to the side. It is important to stay healthy and to try to take care of ourselves. I do want to look nice for my husband. I love clothes; makeup and all that girly stuff that makes me feel pretty. Ladies God created us to be special, different than men, we each posses beauty. No matter what size you are, no matter how perfect your hair is, make up or no make up you are beautiful in our own way. When we add God into our beauty regiment on a daily basis, what comes out of us is a beauty that surpasses all our outer beauty.

Ladies, we work out, we put on make up, we color our hair, we diet and, we use one beauty product after another to beatify ourselves but what about our hearts. Are you beautifying your heart with Jesus? Are you into a daily beauty regiment for your heart? Are you setting aside time with God each day? Are you in his word? Are your hands folded in prayer? We joke about getting our rest and beauty sleep to keep ourselves looking refreshed. That is something that we should be doing in all areas of our life. We need to take time to rest in Lord. We need to let him refresh us. We put so much time in each day to look good on the outside, so let’s try not to forget how much more important the inner beauty is. 1 Peter 3:3-4 teaches us: Your beauty should not come from outward adornment, such as elaborate hairstyles and the wearing of gold jewelry or fine clothes. Rather, it should be that of your inner self, the unfading beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is of great worth in God’s sight.
A beauty regiment based on God is free and the results are guaranteed.

If you could only get one thing right as a parent, what would that be?

2011-03-05T14:14:00.000-08:00

(My son and I)

Being a mom is one of the hardest, rewarding and best things I could have ever asked for. There is something inside of us women that longs to mother, love and protect. I even feel the longing to be a mother figure to kids that don’t even belong to me.

When it comes to my own kids, I truly see them as a gift from God. My doctor told me after 3 surgeries which finally ended in a hysterectomy that he hoped I believed in something bigger than myself, he hope I believed in God. He said my kids were a gift because with what was going on inside my body I should have never been able to carry a child and I have 2.

Raising them has been wonderful, not perfect because there is no parenting manual and I have blown it more than once. I mean blown it! Sometime I wish I could permanently install a 3 second filter form my brain to my mouth so that things that I often regret wouldn’t just spill out of me. Let’s just say, I have had to say I am sorry many times over the past 18 years.

Wow 18 years, that seems almost hard to swallow. My son is now adult and my baby just got her license the other day. Where did the time go? How I long to turn back the time, to hold them and rock them. What I would give to trip over a toy or see fingerprints on the slider door from when they stood in wonder watching it snow. How I miss that sound of a sweet voice calling me in the night: “Mommy” was the sweetest sound to my ears. Yes, they still need me from time to time and I grab on to each of those moments as time continues to slip through my fingers.

My husband and I have tried to raise them to be respectful, to make healthy choices and to know God. We want so much for them and we would give our own lives to save them. A friend of mine said something once that stuck with me. She is a mother of 4. Her youngest son was only here to bless us for a very short time. God is now holding her baby boy. She asked me one day, “if there was only one thing you could get right as a parent and give your child, what would it be?” I sat for a moment thinking about it and than I answered “God”. She said yes, that was her answer also. If there was only one thing she got right as a parent it would be that her kids knew God. She knows that she has gotten that right and her youngest is with him now.

This last fall, it was time to send our oldest off to college He choose Colorado Christian and I knew that it was time to let go. I held on to the fact that with all the mistakes we had made, He did know God. We had equipped him with what he needed and now it was time to hand him the reins and let him start to take responsibility over his life. It sounds way easier on paper than it is in real life.

I sat one morning having my coffee and I began to spill to God, I was scared, I remember thinking. Really, Colorado? It is so far away. So very far, is he ready? What if? What if? What if? The list of what ifs was so long. I sat there crying and I felt God say to me, I love your son; I want what is best for him. I am taking him to Colorado to grow him into a man. I am not asking you to give your son up the way gave up my son for you. Trust me. I love him.

Wow, it was that moment I knew no matter how hard it was, I had to trust my father in heaven to grow my son. We had shown him God and, he was walking with him. That was the most important thing. Now it was God’s turn to grow my boy. The words from my friend stuck. If you only get one thing right, let it be that they know God. I let him go that morning; don’t think I didn’t struggle as the days grew closer to us leaving him in Colorado. But I let him go and really started trusting God.

He is home this weekend for a visit and I am happy that he still seems to have time to fit mom into his busy schedule. I have learned to take my time with him and make it really count. We just had a nice 45 min work out. He is out the door again to see friends and family and I am left picking up his wet bath towel that is laying on the carpet (one of my biggest pet peeves), it used to make me mad, now I sit here with tears rolling down my cheeks happy to pick up anything after my boy. The mess on his floor is a reminder to my heart how much I love him and that no matter how old he gets; he’ll always be my little boy. I laughed about the wet towel with my husband but deep down I am sad because in the morning I’ll be putting him on a plane and sending him off to college again. My heart is breaking because I’ll miss him but I am filled with joy when I think of what God is doing with my son.

In the morning I’ll say goodbye again, I’ll look forward to seeing him in a few months, I’ll see even more change in him as God grows him, molds him and raises him up into Man of God. I pray for my son, for his wife that some day God will bless him with, for his future and for his safety. I have set him in the hands of God, because it makes it easier to say good bye and it gives peace to my heart knowing God wants only what is best for him.

It is funny how the little things like wet towels laying on the carpet, dirty finger prints on your window, crumbs on the floor, toys laying around and be woken up in the middle of the night when you are tired seemed so annoying at times when they were young and now I would give anything to have that happen again.

I thank God for my kids, I trust God with both of them, I am thankful that with all we got wrong as parents, we got one thing right. Our Kids know the Lord! My poor girl bless her heart is lift with a mom who smoothers her at times because I am frantically trying to hold on to what time I have left with her. I know God has big plans for her also.

If you are a mom or a dad and your are reading this, I ask you this one question, if you were only allowed to get one thing right with your kids, what would it be. I hope it is that they would know God.

As a parent I hope you will also get to know God while on your knee’s. It makes parenting and someday letting go a lot easier when God is carrying you all in his hands in the highs, lows, heartaches and joys of life.

who's hungry?

2011-03-03T18:17:00.000-08:00

This is something I wrote a few weeks and ago. you may have already seen it on our church's facebook page. If you haven't seen it, I hope you enjoy it.

Who’s hungry?

During worship yesterday I had the word hungry going around in my head. I picked up my bible and began to look up the word hungry thinking God had something for me. I was unclear what he was telling me so I asked him to show me, I knew I was hungry for his word and the light bulb went on. He wanted me to get into his word to really be HUNGRY in a new way.

I sat in church listening to the wonderful word our Pastor was giving. I kept hearing the word hungry. What was I going to do with that? God had not shown me to a certain scripture to share but he was putting it on my heart for a reason. It soon became clear that he simply wanted me in his word. He wasn’t trying to speak to me something new, He was just trying to speak to me and to satisfy my hunger.

Today I looked up the work HUNGRY (yes I cheated and went on line). There are 46 times in the bible the word hungry is used) I read each of them, some really spoke to me and some didn’t but the fact of the matter was I was in his word and I was searching.

What spoke to me was the verses that talked about him satisfying the hunger in our souls. Like the women at the well who was thirsty. She received the living water of Jesus and she was never thirsty again.

Deuteronomy 8:3 tells us, He humbled you and let you be hungry and fed you with Manna which you did not know, nor did your fathers know, that he might make you understand That man Does not live on bread alone, but that man lives on EVERTHING THAT PROCEDS OUT OF THE MOUTH OF GOD.

Psalms 107:9, HE HAS STAISFIED THE THIRSTY SOUL AND THE HUNGRY SOUL HE HAS FILLED WITH GOOD.

As I continued to read all the 46 verses, Isaiah 44:12 spoke to me and because it is the living and breathing word it may speak to each of us differently. It said, man shapes iron into a cutting tool and does his work over the coals, fashioning it with hammers and working it with his strong arm. He also gets hungry and his strength fails; he drinks no water and becomes weary.

After reading this, I wrote in my journal, “Lord this Speaks to me. My understanding may be off from what you mean but it is your living and breathing word. It is showing me that to do the work you have put before me as a wife, mother (to my two kids and the many others you have put in my path to love), and to take the new path you are heading me down in our church I must be refueling with your word daily or I to will become weary. “

We will all become weary if we don’t refuel. I pray that each of us will take some time with the Lord each day. We fill our cars up with gas; we fill our stomachs with food, our days with entertainment, work, friends and family but what about our souls? Are you filling your soul? Are you HUNGRY?

We all need a hero

2011-02-27T20:51:00.000-08:00

I don’t know a lady that didn’t play dress up at least once as a little girl. As little girls we all dream of our wedding day, we plan that day out in our mind right down to the last detail. We see ourselves marrying the prefect man. A Hero, a Knight in shining armor. As women we all have our favorite movies and most likely in our top movies there is women who needs to be saved, romanced and made to feel beautiful.

Robin Hood and The Last of the Mohicans are at the top of my list in that department. The fact is that they are movies and not real life, I am happily married but my husband has never swung threw a window on a rope to rescue me, there has never been a need for him to carry a bow and arrow or a sword we have never ridden off into the sunset on a white horse with my beautiful long hair blowing in the wind, and my perfect body tucked tightly in his arms.

The song by Tina Turner goes:

I need a hero

I’m holding out for a hero ‘til the end of the night

He’s gotta be strong

And he’s gotta be fast

And he’s gotta be fresh from the fight

Come on ladies admit it you all know what I am talking about, we are romantic at heart. Why do you think we have chick flicks and romance novels. One of the best romance novels I have ever read was Redeeming Love by Francine Rivers. My daughter and her friends have past the book around also. Face it ladies, it is how we are built. Our feminine side cries out to be protected, loved and treated like we are the only girl in the world.

Unfortunately, we live in a broken world and many of us never had father’s who protected us, many of us have had unhealthy marriages, and we feel we don’t deserve any better. It is sad, but many of us feel that. Women and girls have been fed a mixed up version of what womanhood is. We have been told to be strong, we don’t need a man, and we can take care of ourselves. We have had the worlds view of a beautiful woman engrained into us and have been taught by the media, that sex is where it is. We often strive so hard to be perfect in the world’s eyes, independent and strong that we have forgotten how to be feminine and how to let the men in our lives be masculine and be our heroes.

We dive into the romance novels and movies to fill that sense of loss. This week while reading the book Captivating for my book group at church (it is about finding the beauty that Jesus sees in all of us as women and letting our men be our heroes) it became very clear to me that I was trying so hard to be strong that I was in a sense taking away my husbands manhood, I wasn’t letting him romance me, protect me and lead me. I was doing everything that went against what I wanted as a little girl and was acting in the way the world saw acceptable for a woman. I had a meeting with God on Friday and I asked him to change my heart, to show me how to be the women that he had planned for me to be not what I thought was best. My husband was out of town and I sent him a text. (He wasn’t able to take calls at that time) I told him, he was my strength, that I believed in him and that I needed to tell him that more. I ended with I Love you and I got a response back so fast. It blessed me to send that text and to have him respond so fast. It was a reality check that if I didn’t change my heart and let my husband be my hero I was going to miss out on a even deeper love for him, and in return a love that would also be poured back on me.

It is time I close my mouth more, and when I do speak I need to find kinder and gentler words. I am guessing all of you ladies that are in a relationship must have also done this to your other half at sometime. I am not saying I am a bad wife, I just think I could be better and if I am willing to change I think my husband will become a even better husband than he is already by doing this. I tell others how lucky I am to have him but I don’t always tell him that.

Ladies, God made us different than men, he had a perfect plan and for a man and women, why do we make it so hard, and try to change his plan. I have to be honest, I want my doors opened, I want a strong man, I want my heart to be protected. I don’t need to be rushed away on a horse and live some fun and exciting life, I just need to know my husband loves me with al his heart. I have to stop being afraid to say I need you and I have to learn that my way is not always the right way! I have had a reality check I don’t want the idea of a hero from the movies, I want a hero that comes from a deeper way of loving and respecting the man that God has chosen for me. My husband has protected me in many situations where I could have been hurt; he has stood up for me and made me feel safe. I know he would love to be the protector of my heart as well if I would let him. While proof reading this my husband told me that if you allow a man to be the man that God intended him to be he would swim through shark infested water to bring his wife a lemonade. (I don’t mean to be picky but I wonder he would bring me a bottle of wine also). He told me that is the way they are wired

Yesterday I was at our book group at church and a beautiful young mom and wife came to our meeting after a night that had to have been one of the most painful nights. Her mom became sick, was rushed to the hospital and before the night was over she was faced with the responsibility to take her mom off life support. She sat there, tired and grieving we laid hands on her prayed for her and loved on her. She shared with us that her husband had very tenderly told her that she was not going to have to go through this alone. He loves her so much and he told her that they were one. He was willing to protect her and help her carry her burdens. He was being her hero. I used to think the line “you complete me” from Jerry McGuire was one of the most romantic things ever but “we are one” is hands down the most romantic things I have ever heard. The icing on the cake was that it was real life, not some line in a movie and the man who said it wasn’t wielding a sword returning from the battle all rough and full of testosterone. He was a man who was pushing into his faith and ready to take whatever was thrown his way to protect the heart of the women he loved. A couple of us told him that he was a hero today at church and you could see the love he felt for his wife well up in his eyes as we told him what we thought of his words. Ladies, Ladies, Ladies, this man is a hero because his wife lets him be one. She is tender and allows him to rescue her. Add that with his love for the Lord and she has got the whole package. She told us that as a girl that she began praying for her husband. Okay this just keeps getting better than any romantic movie could ever be! I hope it moves your heart to want more in your marriage.

Ladies, if we would start sharing our vulnerability with our husbands I think they would be more than willing to pour out their love and passion on us. We don’t need to have the body of movie star or the hair of Julia Roberts for our husbands to love us with passion and to be our heroes. Our husbands don’t need to be some muscle bound, tough guys to be our heroes either. We just have step back and let them be men. God had a perfect plan when he made us women so different than he made men. We need to stop trying to change his plan.

My husband is that hero that I need; I am going to work on changing my heart to not be so bossy and, to stop thinking my way is the only. Most important I am going to faithfully pray for my husband. I am so fast to pray for everyone else, I even pray for my friend’s husbands when they ask but I don’t pray for my own husband on a regular basis. That is going to change today and I pray that you will do the same for your husband. If you are in a rocky marriage and feels there is not hope left, I pray that you will push into God and start to pray for your husband and for a new and stronger love. If you are a single women or a young lady and you are reading this, I pray that you will start praying now for the man that God has chosen for you.

Ladies heroes are not just in books and movies, they are in our lives and they may just need gentle women to allow them to be what God wants from them.

2011-02-26T22:19:00.000-08:00

Even God loves Pigpen

Being a picture person I can relate to the cartoon character Pigpen.He is dirty and there is always a little whirlwind of dust and grim circling him.

He is a sweet child in the cartoon but he is dirty all the time. Makes me think of the days that my children would come in from a long day of playing and I would make them strip down in the laundry room to avoid the dirt and grime that they brought in on themselves from being drug through the house.

As their parent, I stood there with a smile on my face, listening to the fun they had and knowing under all that dirt was my perfect and beautiful child. There was nothing that they could ever do, no amount of dirt, grim, or sin that could ever make me love them any less.

As the years have gone by I have prayed for them, for their future, for their spouses that someday God will bless them with, for their safety, for them to be filled with joy and that they would really know “God”!! They are my children and I want them to have a life of love, laughter and joy. I have so many things I would love them to be blessed with, the list is long and my desire for them to achieve all their dreams will never cease within me. That is the role of a parent.

It makes me wonder if when God looks down upon us, his children, if we look like little pigpens ourselves. Going through life, covered in the markings of our sin and shame? Sometimes we get so buried in the turmoil in our lives that are often a result of poor choices and from our un-repented sin that everywhere we go and everything we do seems to create whirlwind of chaos that circles us at all times. I can see that cartoon pigpen in my mind and that whirlwind of dirt and grim that circles him. That has to break God’s heart, as a parent he loves each of us, Jeremiah 29:11 says, “for I know the plans I have for you “Declares the Lord, ‘Plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope for your future.” GOD wants the best for each of us. He wants to clean us up from our sin and shame, he wants to pull us out of a life of brokenness and fill us with his joy and his peace.

Life is hard, but with God we don’t need to be stuck standing in the mud, dirty, broken and ashamed, trapped in that whirlwind. God is waiting for each of his children that have not yet come to him to do so, he longs for them to cry out to him. He wants to wash us clean from the sins and burdens of life. He wants to clothes us in righteousness, fill us with his love and forgiveness and give us a new life in him.

He knows that all of his children are going to fall in the mud from time to time but when it happens he desires for us to turn to him to let him wash us clean with forgiveness. He promises to never forsake us, and that he will never let us carry our burdens alone.

Some of us may be in a place that seems so overwhelming from the chaos that we see no way out, we try to handle it on our own and fail. We become tired and sometimes depressed. God doesn’t want it like that for his children. He is waiting with open arms for us to look to him for what we need: to look to him to cleanse our soul and pick us up out of the mud. If we turn our eyes towards him, he can and will get us out of the bonds of sin and shame. Psalms 25:15 tells us that: “My eyes are forever on the LORD, for only he will release my feet from the snare (NIV). The King James Version says: “for only he shall pluck my feet out of the net”. Either way you look at it only God can and will lift you out of what ever burdens are weighing you down and have trapped you.

Let God wash you clean. His Grace is enough, Paul said it perfectly in 2^nd Corinthians 12:9-11 But he said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness”. Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ’s power may rest on me. That is why, for Christ’s sake, I delight in weaknesses, in insults, in hardships, in persecutions, in difficulties. For when I am weak, than I am strong. Wow!!! God’s grace is sufficient enough for each of us!!! I can’t figure out why we have such a hard time wrapping our heads around that. I know I have questioned it before but when I really started to believe the truth in it my life changed. God is our parent and as I said earlier there is nothing that my kids could do that could keep me from loving them. The same goes for God. He will always love us no matter what.

If you are not walking with God, or if you think you are too full of sin to be forgiven, I pray you will open your heart and let God in. Set your eyes upon the Lord, let him love on you and wash you clean. Pigpen is a cute cartoon character but he is not something that we should want to look like. God wants us clothed in his love and righteousness, not the sin and shame that only comes from the lies of Satan.

Today I pray that if you are carrying a sin you need to repent of, if the burdens of life are overwhelming to you or if you want to give your life to Jesus that you would open your heart and ask God to do a mighty work in you. God’s Grace is sufficient enough for each of us, even Pigpen.